No.Nonsense.

As I drive down the interstate to visit my family, the scenery doesn’t change much. I’ve been making this drive for years and can pinpoint each restaurant, gas station, rest stop, and point of interest along the way.

Several years ago, a symbol appeared on the side of the interstate that makes me increasingly distressed each time I pass. I first saw the large confederate flag bordering the highway as I entered the county. Some time later, there was a second one as I exited the county. Two different properties. Same symbol of hate.

I used to make pit stops in this county. I no longer do.

I grew up watching The Dukes of Hazzard, cheering every jump of that orange car with the flag painted on the hood and named after the southern general. I once had a boyfriend who proudly posted it on a license plate on the front of his Chevy truck. When the debate occurred several years ago over removing the flag from the SC state house, I argued that the majority of those who fought in the Civil War did not own slaves and were simply fighting to protect their homes. For this reason, the flag was not about slavery or racism but about southern pride and states’ rights. It, to me, was a symbol of the south and not of hate. I have not been and am not a racist. I am a proud southerner, born and bred. And I didn’t see anything wrong with the flag.

And then I had a son who is half black and I began to see things through the lens of a mother. I began to see how my arguments were so very misguided. I began to see the hatefulness of that flag. Most of the soldiers might not have been on the battlefield because they owned slaves but the war itself was started over the brutality of an institution that held an entire race captive. I argued that its symbolism had been bastardized by hate groups and that wasn’t what the flag was about. When I had my son I saw that our excusing that symbol is excusing the hatred these groups espouse.

Now each time I drive down that interstate and see those flags, what I see is a statement that my son isn’t welcome in that county. I feel uncertain of our safety if we stop there. I view it as a clear stay away sign for anyone who isn’t white.

I ultimately don’t know the motivation for whoever put those flags up. I get that not everyone who lives in that county has to agree with the representation of those flags. But I know what I feel each time I see them. I know what I feel when my son asks me why someone would display them.

I feel sick to my stomach.

I can’t stop the hatred from affecting him. He’s a balanced kid and I’ve taught him that not everything is a micro aggression even as we talk about racial issues in deep and meaningful ways. I want him to be proud of who he is. His complexion is light but that doesn’t lessen his identity as black. He embraces who he is- every part of himself- and I love him for it.

But it’s my job to protect him in the ways that I can which include taking my business elsewhere as long as those flags are pride of place on the side of the road. I also pray for those who put them up to have a crisis of conscience and remove them. If that doesn’t happen, I pray God would send a lightning strike to the flagpole and burn them to a crisp. And I truly hope the people of that region are better than what is being represented.