No.Nonsense.

When I started this column, it’s purpose was to just share my thoughts and opinions, not to change anyone’s mind but to maybe bring a different perspective into the mix that someone might not have considered. It is an outlet for me and something I love to do- write.

And I write about everything. Politics, religion, current events, pop culture, my life- it’s all in the mix here. Often, as today, I have planned to write about something in the news when life happens and changes the trajectory of my thoughts.

This past week has had some pretty high highs as we celebrated my kid’s birthday. It’s also had some intense lows. I have handled some things better than others. The home repair that ended up bigger than planned? No problem. Short-staffed at work? Got it handled. The family drama? Getting a little less gracious. The snarky kid? Losing my patience. The neighbor who hurts the feelings of that snarky kid? I’m losing my cool now. The message that is the final straw? I’m officially off the cliff of my self-control.

See I can take 13 things going wrong but that 14th one is the one that will break me.

As I was sending a Mama Bear text message to that neighbor I mentioned, she messaged me back almost immediately and said she had been out of line with what she said to my kid. She said she wasn’t feeling well and had taken it out on him and she would apologize to him as soon as she got home. And she followed through on that promise.

There was no prevarication. There were no excuses. There was 100% responsibility and making amends.

Her actions started me thinking about how often I have failed to extend grace to someone because of the shit storm that is going on in my life. And yes this Christian just used the term shit storm. Get over it.

We expect everyone to be considerate of our feelings without acknowledging how we have hurt someone else. We hold others to the convictions we set for ourselves, citing them as “the Bible says” while using those convictions as a means to judge others who don’t measure up to our values. We look at that person getting out of their car in the handicap parking spot and comment on how they look fine walking into the store, not considering that today is a rare good day they are not in pain, unable to get out of bed. We see the person struggling and wonder why they can’t work harder and, instead of reaching out to help, we say there are places to help them and it’s not our problem. We put more weight on the perception others have of us than on our just being good and kind people.

We fail to consider that it’s not all about us.

When asked by the religious leaders of his time what the greatest commandment was, Jesus replied it was to love God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind with the second being to love your neighbor as yourself.

In fact, throughout the Bible we are taught to prioritize the needs of others over ourselves.

Leviticus references to love your neighbor as yourself. Sound familiar?

Deuteronomy says we are to not be hard-hearted and tight-fisted.

Proverbs instructs us to speak for those who can’t speak for themselves.

Philippians says to look to the interests of others above yourself.

Romans tells us to honor one another above ourselves.

Mark implores us to serve while Jesus, himself, in John commands that we love others as he has loved us.

So why is it so hard for us as Christians to lay down our judgments and our prejudices and our preconceptions and just give those around us a little grace?

The beauty of the Gospel is that we are undeserving of God’s mercy and love but that through Jesus’s sacrifice on the cross, he has extended us his grace to save us.

We have been given the most precious gift of God’s grace so why do we find it so hard to extend grace to others? We know what real love is, so why can’t we show that same love? We have felt mercy so why can’t we give mercy? We have known forgiveness so why can’t we forgive?

We need to stop holding up a mirror to everyone else and saying, “A Christian needs to look and act like this” and start holding that mirror up to ourselves and saying “Where have I failed to follow Jesus’s command?”

I am so far from perfect and I fail every single day. But I refuse to live my life in such a way that I judge others for being themselves. I don’t ever want to be that person who is the reason that someone walks away from the church and from a relationship with God. I want to see beyond the surface of what someone looks like to see the core of what’s inside. I want to be that one who understands that all of us are works in progress deserving of a little grace.

Some days are better than others. Some days I succeed. Some days I fail. Every day I keep trying.