No.Nonsense.

Too many years ago when I was finishing up my first degree I had to do a senior project to determine if I would be graduating. This project was in two parts, a research paper and a classroom instruction. I don’t remember my research paper but the classroom instruction is still vivid in my mind.

We were assigned a book by our professor that we had to read and then teach to the class. Mark West, the professor, looked like a brown-haired version of Ronald McDonald and had an unhealthy obsession with trivia of the Popes and toilets- and if he found a nugget that involved both a Pope and a toilet together, he was in heaven. He was absolutely amazing. Anyway, he assigned me a book titled “Is There a Text in this Class?”

For weeks I slogged through that damn book. It was truly one of the most difficult things I had ever read. I got all the way to the end and read the final paragraph, closed the book, and asked myself what I just read. I knew in that moment there was no way I would graduate because there was no way I could teach that book.

My roommate and I used to videotape our daytime soap operas (yes, it was that long ago) to watch together when we both got home at night. On one of our favorite shows, we were watching a particularly tear-jerking scene where one of the main characters was dying and she and her husband were saying their last words to each other. My roommate’s response was, “oh come on!” Meanwhile I was in a puddle of tears. At that moment, the meaning of the book I had to teach became clear.

We had watched the same scene but our life experiences and preconceived notions and emotional makeup and so many other variables had us viewing it two different ways. Our perspective was shaped by who we are and what we believed.

I took that tape into my class, showed that scene, opened a discussion about how differences shape what we see and hear and it was incredible. I made an “A” on that project.

On Sunday, I posted a comment on Facebook about the rising gas prices, challenging those who argued about the prices in the prior administration to justify the prices now in this one. The way I stated it was intended to incite an argument. Why would I subject myself to the inevitable comments? It was a test of my theory that those who saw the gas prices then as a problem would defend them now because they support the person in office this time.

And I was right.

We are shaped by so many things that will color how we see a situation. We then judge others who see the same situation differently, considering them to be wrong because their viewpoint is different from ours. There are certain immutable truths that are right and wrong. With that said, even those can be shaped by the circumstances. Murder is wrong. But if you kill to save your life, is that the same? It’s a sin to steal, but what if you have no food and a hungry baby? That’s a little more gray.

We get so militant about getting others to come over to our side, but do we ever just take the time to listen to why the other person feels as they do? And because we can’t sit down and have these conversations we end up with a trench down the middle of the road that divides us between left and right, never finding a bridge to work for a common goal. Compromise doesn’t mean giving in on our principles; it’s finding a solution to the problem that works for the benefit of everyone. It’s finding a measure of peace despite the differences. It’s allowing that people can still be friends even on opposing sides, think Antonin Scalia and Ruth Bader Ginsburg who were reported to be best friends yet were on opposite sides of every SCOTUS ruling. Consider the Kelcie brothers who played on opposing teams in the Super Bowl. They didn’t let the division or the win/loss ratio separate them.

We don’t have to win every argument. Sometimes it’s better if we don’t because it forces us to see the other side. Sometimes it’s okay to cheer on the team across from you because your loved one is on that side of the field.

So going back to my story, is there a text in this class? There is. But the interpretation of it is up to you.