No.Nonsense.

Today is not just about those of us who are enjoying a long weekend. It’s a time when we recognize the legacy of a great man. As with any icon, he had his flaws, but it is only in those imperfections that his contributions to society become that much greater.

Dr King’s fight for racial equality is why my son will have the opportunities that will be afforded to him. And, yes, I write this as a white woman who does not disregard the challenges that my biracial son may face. He came to me as a foster child who I eventually adopted. When he was small, I had a guardian ad litem tell me that as a white woman, I didn’t understand what it would be like to raise a black child. I told her I didn’t need a DNA test to tell me he was half white and then proceeded to ask her which half of him she wanted me to care for. Needless to say, she was eventually removed from the case at the behest of our black social worker.

Since that time, I have been challenged by others on my perceived lack of awareness of the potential racial challenges he will face. I admit I don’t know what it is to be black and can’t teach him from that perspective. I do, however, surround him with those who do know what life in a darker skin tone is like. We discuss racial topics and are totally open and honest about our feelings. I expose and educate for both of our sakes.

No, I don’t know what it is to be black, but I do know life on the “wrong side of the tracks”. I do know what it is to be judged by what you don’t have. I do know what it is like to have people underestimate your abilities because you went to the wrong school. The prejudices I faced were not rooted in racism, but they are damaging nonetheless.

I choose to raise my son as a proud black man but with the knowledge that he is only limited by his own perceptions and not by what others think. I refuse to teach him that the color of skin defines completely who he will be as a man. I give him permission to reach every height without feeling tethered to the ground by the strings of race. I will teach him Dr King’s words to judge others by the content of their character and not the color of their skin.

I believe that we as parents define who our children will become. If we tell them that others will constantly judge them based on their skin tone, we limit their ability to see that most people are inherently good. We teach them to distrust every action and every motive, always looking for where they have been cheated; and we give them permission to be less than what they can be. I know there will be those who will disagree with my mindset and my methods but the evidence will prove out through the incredible kid who lives in my home. That is a king’s legacy.